So you want to break into film making. Not 'artiste' avante garde slaving for the craft film making. You want to break into real film making. The commercial grade shit. Anyone can superimpose a baby with a dying tree and ask you what it really means.
Fucking whatever you want it to mean.
But real film making. The competitive shit. Where you're not going against Brandon Ingrim and Jenette Peters for being director in production 2, or a local band's bar night dvd. Your looking at the big cash. The bright lights where the stars shine hotter, C level reality stars have power agents, and being too good or too bad of a fuck toy can get you promoted. That's the good stuff.
I am too. Well sort of. It's more of an inevitability now. Not that I'll be successful, of course, that's luck. But to have that opportunity, well it's there. The reason is a combination of things. I'm gonna release the secret that everyone in hollywood DOESN'T want you to know, but tells everyone else anyways.
It's not what you know, it's who you know.
But who you know relates directly to WHAT you know.
Follow?
Okay your a screenwriter and you want to sell a script. Hey, congrats! Your taking your first steps out of having a JOB and towards a CAREER. (Side note, don't ever talk to people that have jobs about your career. Said people will kill you, literally.)
So you write a script. And of course you do. You're not some two bit hack, you write a script and you finish that shit! Congrats, your ahead of half of the other so calle screenwriters out there. So you want to make your BEST idea first. So lets say you pitch a...
...Vampire love story. Why the fuck not? right?
So you tell anyone you know about your vampire love story. Because vampire love stories are hot. And you know that by talking about something commercial that's a hit in the market place they'll listen. So you tell EVERYBODY, and half the people already fucking hate twilight so they won't read your knock off. But the others are visionaries, they see how the market place works so they read it. And they pass. Because you're shit isn't Twilight. And that may or may not be a good thing. It gets covered, but you didn't suck complete dick with your script so they decide to read your next script.
So you start your next script - an animated script about talking animals. While you keep pitching your vampire love story. Soon everyone knows you as the guy that wrote the vampire love story. They're not interested in the talking animal movie because animated movies are tougher for beginners to break into, and how can someone that wrote cheesy vampire dialogue write observational animal dialogue? It doesn't matter if that doesn't make sense, that's how they think.
Do not keep reading if you wish to argue this point. You're beyond saving, and writing your third script, about an anti-hero Billionaire who fights crime.
Good. You're still here. So you're thinking - I did everything write. I wrote commercial, marketable stuff - which is much smarter than writing scripts about writers, film school, generic sex comedies, and two bit mob movies. You sent the script out, and people JUST CANT see your talent, can they?
Well they can - but they're not gonna make a fucking penny off of you mate, so you're worthless.
Let's meet Simon Kinberg
Simon wrote Mr. and Mrs. Smith, a lovers spy movie. He wrote this after spending years at COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY honing his craft, and doing among other things, going to the library every day and writing out the log lines and out lines to every single movie he could get his hands onto. Back to the spy movie - Mr. and Mrs. Smith combined a unique twist with a tested model, while putting his own spin on it. Simon got AKIVA FUCKING GOLDSMAN attached, who is bigger than almost anyone, anyone knows who's reading this. They shopped it around town TWICE and got passed around. But Simon's young and has talent. Akiva is still making money off his a beautiful mind can afford to keep this script around, because its commercial, yet unique. There isn't a different fucking spy movie where the two leads get married an go through the five stages of grief, so why toss this story away? He shops it around town twice and FOX buys it. Brad Pitt attaches too it - then Nicole Kidman, then a shitload of other people who are more famous than anyone we know - and the movie is put into turnaround. Finally Doug Liman comes on board and Angelina Jolie attaches herself to the script. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie make every fucking magazine cover for the next seven months and the movie opens to fifty mil.
Simon writes X-Men 3, does a rewrite on The Fantastic Four 2. co-writes Jumper. Then does a pass on Sherlock Holmes. Simon is A list, and it only took him ten years to do it (Give or take).
Why is Simon different than you? Well Simon worked harder, for one. Simon didn't write a knock off script. Simon knew Akiva Goldsman, a Columbia Alum. But even with that, he had to get lucky. Having Akiva Goldsman read the script was hard. Having Akiva love it was easy. See - there is no easy fix, unless there is an easy fix.
Simon was marketable. More importantly, his idea was marketable. Is yours? Like I mentioned, art school flicks suck, I dont want to read them, and neither do readers. I would read Mr. and Mrs. Smith though because I know if I pass it onto my production company's boss he'll read the tag line and read it. Unless your Wood Stock movie is written by Ang Lee - it isn't moving up the chain. So why the fuck am I gonna put my name on the line and pass on a script that isn't perfect.
And your script isn't perfect. It's probably not even rewritten.
So your cousin that knows Roberto Orci can't help, unless its a good script. I mean, Robertos people will read the script, not out of a favor, but because they're scared on PASSING on a HIT. People dont remember the flops (quick, who directed Poseidon) If you Iphone looked that up, google fuck you. Roberto will read your script and pass because he can't pass it onto Jon Favreau or Steven Spielberg because they won't be wowed. But if you DON'T pass it onto Roberto, you'll never get it made. See, there's no easy fix, unless there's an easy fix.
The secret is not to show people shitty scripts. Shitty scripts get you a reputation. Your better off not showing anything, than showing shitty scripts. Unless someone SPECIFICALLY asks for your shitty script. then it isnt a shitty script. Then its a script with potential that may or may not of gone anywhere, but people ASKING for scripts are rare. They're too busy reading shitty scripts to pass on.
That probably doesn't help, does it? Or make you feel much better. But undestanding your career and maximizing it's strength will carry you a lot farther then randomly giving everyone your script and hope for the best. Its like tossing your keys into a bowl and thinking everyone's gonna chip in for a key party. That shit works in Connecticut, but not in real life.
If you work harder, and your better than shit, you'll meet people that want to work with you, show them your best work and hope you have the next Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
After all - its just an easy fix, or is it?
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