Big News Felix Navidad

Decided today that I'm giving up producing for the next twelve months to focus on writing and developing my voice as a writer.

My inner circle really spelled this path out to me in the last six months. I finally listened.

I'll still do work on projects I'm attached too - but I'm not going to pick up any new projects. I feel strongly about developing my talent, I've been selling myself short - maybe I haven't, but only one way to find out - this way.

I'm excited to see what the future holds.

Merry Christmas.

Make sure you take a chaser with that shot of Ambition

I have a script due for a rewrite at a studio January 4th - So obviously I'm going to delay and write on this first. It's Christmas time, and that means you see three things. A conspicuous absence of Jesus, Santa Claus, and couples. Thanks to the recession, however we get another thing to add to that list - Ambition.

Ambition is a positive word to look towards the future in an otherwise dark time. You lose your job, you got a wife and kids, and no one's sure as shit going to hire until March - so it's the perfect time to pursue your dream of Screenwriting - It's you taking ambition in your life and chasing your dreams. And please, chase away.

But I can't go to your work and asssume to know what a TPS report is. I can't guide home planes from an air traffic controller. I cannot pick ripe fruit. But I can make The Princess and the Frog references to make my point valid.

In the Princess and the Frog, the Princess, Tiana, achieves her dreams with extremely hard work, dedications and a little luck (We're connecting to past posts now!) She gets her palace which is a fine dining restaurant in New Orleans and gets what she always wanted, someone to support and believe in her. If your thinking I just ruined the movie for you, you obviously have never seen a disney movie. There's never been a disney movie where the protagonist does not get what he/she wants or desires. There is always at least one singing animal. And there is always a surprisingly dark and scary bad guy. This is why Disney movies are not real life. I've yet to see a singing bird and most of the bad guys I know are white.

But they do teach real life lessons. That fucking animator at Disney got that job by busting his/her ass. Working extra hours, and generally LOVING what they do because they sure as shit don't work 18 hour days for the paycheck. They relate to Tiana because TIANA is them, they want to work hard and get their fairy tale come true.

And don't we?

Isn't AMBITION the secret ingrediant that Tiana has? I'd argue no. It's the setting to springboard Tiana to where she wants to go. Ambition is the poor shack house she lives in, the double waitressing job, and her skin color. They coincide to plot against her, the nefarious gears in motion to stifle any shot at a productive and happy life. And they succeed.

And she gets mad.

Then she gets Ambitious.

But the hard work, the leaning on others who are great at what they do, the little bit of luck, and the old black voodoo lady is what makes her dream come true. Ambition isn't bred in rich families, its bred in adversity.

So if you don't have that, why are you writing? The Spec market is dead. Read Jason Scroggins to learn more about that, only 17 specs we're sold last year, not a terrible number, but not something to depend on. So why are you writing - is it for love? It might be. We all need dedication for what we desire, the same way we need justification for what we settle for. When I go home with my forth choice from the bar, I struck out three times from ambition and took home her deceptively cute friend by hard work. It might not ALWAYS be what we dreamed of, but I'm going to argue that writing a hit screenplay isn't what you dreamed of. We don't get much when we write a hit, aside from some assignment work and taking home or third choice at the bar. You're not reading about Michael Chabon in People are you?

So if you're looking for a little chaser to go with that ambition - it's the hard work that will separate you. Because most others in your position won't finish that script. Then those that do won't put in the hard work to REWRITE it. And others won't handle rejection well, especially since they haven't taken getting laid off especially well to begin with.

And maybe this is where movies ruin it for ourselves. Shit man, we make things look easy. Writing is easy - watch

dog pog log sog cat bat fat dat

I wrote that in literally seven seconds. But if I plan on putting that in a script I wrote, that shit is B-A-N-A-N-A-S. I need to write lines like

Wind rustling against the hair of his neck. Bob sees trees, and endless charge of trees walking towards him in military unison, the branchings swaying back and forth in one solitary motion. Bob looks down at his feat to see a long, slender stick. He dabs it into the roaring hot fire and CHARGES TOWARDS the trees. They ROOT INTO the ground, each making a line in the sand.
Bob HURLS the fire at the first tree as it explodes into a drowning sea of orange, red, and yellow. It envelopes past the first one - touching the second and third, down the line until the first clump blazes around him. The trees uproot and circle around him. Blocking every avenue of escape. he looks down, nothing. They enclose around him, sucking the night sky out of his view like a cavenous oaf.

You can debate if what I wrote is good, or even comprehensible. But I wrote that in two and a half minutes. A shitty ass tree story with no real meaning, but it reads better than your shitty ass coming of age story about a man laid off, and coming to terms with what life really means.

My script has something different than yours - it might be terrible, but its original, and I'll roll the dice on original. I also know reading that sequence that the writer understands the difference between visuals and dialogue, sucking me into the story, and what happens.

That's all from hard work. I've dedicated my life to writing, and with that, I still can't come up with a story written down in this blog that's as good as what Michale Gambon could do. I still need to work on it. That doesn't mean because I'm not as good as Kavaliar and Clay it means I'm quitting, and you shouldn't either. But its the REALITY that soaks into our ambition that makes us work hard, meet a jazz singing crocodile, and get a little bit of luck. Remember that when you chase after your dreams, your going after a job a lot of other people think is their dream too, and while most flake out, some work extremely hard. You need to realize who your going against to give yourself the best shot. I promise not to try to land airplanes without flight school and several practive hours, and you promise not to show anyone your script until you spent several hours rewriting it.

That's only fair when your taking it with a shot of Ambition, right?




PS - that action sequence I wrote was terrible. Absolutely terrible.

There's no easy fix unless you know of an easy fix.

So you want to break into film making. Not 'artiste' avante garde slaving for the craft film making. You want to break into real film making. The commercial grade shit. Anyone can superimpose a baby with a dying tree and ask you what it really means.

Fucking whatever you want it to mean.

But real film making. The competitive shit. Where you're not going against Brandon Ingrim and Jenette Peters for being director in production 2, or a local band's bar night dvd. Your looking at the big cash. The bright lights where the stars shine hotter, C level reality stars have power agents, and being too good or too bad of a fuck toy can get you promoted. That's the good stuff.

I am too. Well sort of. It's more of an inevitability now. Not that I'll be successful, of course, that's luck. But to have that opportunity, well it's there. The reason is a combination of things. I'm gonna release the secret that everyone in hollywood DOESN'T want you to know, but tells everyone else anyways.

It's not what you know, it's who you know.

But who you know relates directly to WHAT you know.

Follow?

Okay your a screenwriter and you want to sell a script. Hey, congrats! Your taking your first steps out of having a JOB and towards a CAREER. (Side note, don't ever talk to people that have jobs about your career. Said people will kill you, literally.)

So you write a script. And of course you do. You're not some two bit hack, you write a script and you finish that shit! Congrats, your ahead of half of the other so calle screenwriters out there. So you want to make your BEST idea first. So lets say you pitch a...

...Vampire love story. Why the fuck not? right?


So you tell anyone you know about your vampire love story. Because vampire love stories are hot. And you know that by talking about something commercial that's a hit in the market place they'll listen. So you tell EVERYBODY, and half the people already fucking hate twilight so they won't read your knock off. But the others are visionaries, they see how the market place works so they read it. And they pass. Because you're shit isn't Twilight. And that may or may not be a good thing. It gets covered, but you didn't suck complete dick with your script so they decide to read your next script.

So you start your next script - an animated script about talking animals. While you keep pitching your vampire love story. Soon everyone knows you as the guy that wrote the vampire love story. They're not interested in the talking animal movie because animated movies are tougher for beginners to break into, and how can someone that wrote cheesy vampire dialogue write observational animal dialogue? It doesn't matter if that doesn't make sense, that's how they think.

Do not keep reading if you wish to argue this point. You're beyond saving, and writing your third script, about an anti-hero Billionaire who fights crime.

Good. You're still here. So you're thinking - I did everything write. I wrote commercial, marketable stuff - which is much smarter than writing scripts about writers, film school, generic sex comedies, and two bit mob movies. You sent the script out, and people JUST CANT see your talent, can they?

Well they can - but they're not gonna make a fucking penny off of you mate, so you're worthless.


Let's meet Simon Kinberg

Simon wrote Mr. and Mrs. Smith, a lovers spy movie. He wrote this after spending years at COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY honing his craft, and doing among other things, going to the library every day and writing out the log lines and out lines to every single movie he could get his hands onto. Back to the spy movie - Mr. and Mrs. Smith combined a unique twist with a tested model, while putting his own spin on it. Simon got AKIVA FUCKING GOLDSMAN attached, who is bigger than almost anyone, anyone knows who's reading this. They shopped it around town TWICE and got passed around. But Simon's young and has talent. Akiva is still making money off his a beautiful mind can afford to keep this script around, because its commercial, yet unique. There isn't a different fucking spy movie where the two leads get married an go through the five stages of grief, so why toss this story away? He shops it around town twice and FOX buys it. Brad Pitt attaches too it - then Nicole Kidman, then a shitload of other people who are more famous than anyone we know - and the movie is put into turnaround. Finally Doug Liman comes on board and Angelina Jolie attaches herself to the script. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie make every fucking magazine cover for the next seven months and the movie opens to fifty mil.

Simon writes X-Men 3, does a rewrite on The Fantastic Four 2. co-writes Jumper. Then does a pass on Sherlock Holmes. Simon is A list, and it only took him ten years to do it (Give or take).


Why is Simon different than you? Well Simon worked harder, for one. Simon didn't write a knock off script. Simon knew Akiva Goldsman, a Columbia Alum. But even with that, he had to get lucky. Having Akiva Goldsman read the script was hard. Having Akiva love it was easy. See - there is no easy fix, unless there is an easy fix.


Simon was marketable. More importantly, his idea was marketable. Is yours? Like I mentioned, art school flicks suck, I dont want to read them, and neither do readers. I would read Mr. and Mrs. Smith though because I know if I pass it onto my production company's boss he'll read the tag line and read it. Unless your Wood Stock movie is written by Ang Lee - it isn't moving up the chain. So why the fuck am I gonna put my name on the line and pass on a script that isn't perfect.

And your script isn't perfect. It's probably not even rewritten.

So your cousin that knows Roberto Orci can't help, unless its a good script. I mean, Robertos people will read the script, not out of a favor, but because they're scared on PASSING on a HIT. People dont remember the flops (quick, who directed Poseidon) If you Iphone looked that up, google fuck you. Roberto will read your script and pass because he can't pass it onto Jon Favreau or Steven Spielberg because they won't be wowed. But if you DON'T pass it onto Roberto, you'll never get it made. See, there's no easy fix, unless there's an easy fix.

The secret is not to show people shitty scripts. Shitty scripts get you a reputation. Your better off not showing anything, than showing shitty scripts. Unless someone SPECIFICALLY asks for your shitty script. then it isnt a shitty script. Then its a script with potential that may or may not of gone anywhere, but people ASKING for scripts are rare. They're too busy reading shitty scripts to pass on.

That probably doesn't help, does it? Or make you feel much better. But undestanding your career and maximizing it's strength will carry you a lot farther then randomly giving everyone your script and hope for the best. Its like tossing your keys into a bowl and thinking everyone's gonna chip in for a key party. That shit works in Connecticut, but not in real life.

If you work harder, and your better than shit, you'll meet people that want to work with you, show them your best work and hope you have the next Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

After all - its just an easy fix, or is it?

The one thing you hate to hear.

Everyone has one thing, that artistically they know, is their weakness. Let me rephrase, BIGGEST weakness. With mine, as you can tell, it's spelling and grammar. This will not change anytime soon. It will not change if I eat green eggs and ham. It will not change, Sam I am.

Accepting your faults is one of those monumental decisions no one ever gives other people credit for. The only thing more fucked up than that, is the lack of acclaim you get from getting steps in place to compensate for your weakness.

If your terrible at picking up phone calls, you get a receptionist. If your terrible at cooking, you move next to a delicious jewish deli. If your a sex addict, you go to the bars and exaggerate what you do in your career to ditzy blondes (TIGER ROAR!). Sadly, I'm not Jewish, so I will not start a deli to help you appease your food cravings. I will not answer your phones, I swear too much, even in small talk. I will not help you with chicks at the bar. I'm a slightly overweight Indian guy. Those rank last on the list ditzy blonde chicks want to meet. If M. Night can't get fucked in this town, neither can I.

My weakness is writing. I'm creative, hyperactive, hard working, and articulate. Those are four reasons why people like to talk to me about movies, not about button down tops at Banana Republic. What I can't do is spell worth a damn, or write clear consice sentences when stirring up in a tizzy, a frantic action sequence. It's the chicken or the egg argument - How can he be a writer when he can't properly form compound adjectives complacent with present noun usage.

Note: I don't give a shit about proper noun usage. You don't give a shit about proper noun usage. Michael Bay and Brad Fuller and JJ Abrams and James Cameron do not give a shit about proper verb usage. Michael Bay and Brad Fuller and JJ Abrams and James Cameron's readers and assistants went to ivy league schools give a shit about proper usage. Remember this later when you try to over take hollywood - or become A list like one of those guys. I GUARANTEE you will not give a shit about proper noun usage.

Back to point at hand. I haven't sold a script yet, so it's hard to argue again the chicken when you haven't friend it's egg. But there are actions you can take. me, for example, hire an editor. It's nice to get proper notes and feedback from your script, then you read it and realize they cleaned up all your errors. It's expensive, five percent of your final sale - which can ADD up. But Ill pay that willingly.

But I hate when people complain about hiring an editor. I hate when the editor complains about the very reason you hired them. I don't care about your opinions that its stupid that I not know rudimentary English. I don't care that I make your job harder. If I knew how to do it, I

A-wouldn't give away 5 percent. I love my editor. I do not like giving away five percent of what I'm earning.

B- I don't care that you feel better pointing out I can't form correct sentences on EVERY LINE OF A HUNDRED AND TWENTY PAGE SCRIPT. You will better pointing that out, but that's not going to fix my script when the protagonist switches motivation half way through the script. That's the reason it's an issue.

C- Did you know the average education of a typical American is 7th grade. Interpret this thought and what it means, via the transitive property.


We interrupt this rant to bring you a real life story....

I got this email back from (notable actresses name) producing partner. I sent them a script I had to write in two weeks, Earth Bound. It was not great. It was not good. It had a solid opening ten pages. A solid last fifteen pages. And a great twist in the middle of act two. Everything else was piss poor. Even I was appalled by the number of mistakes, both grammatically and artistically I made. I was embarrassed.

The email stated:

Hey just completed Earthbound. the core idea is good but the script is not ready. yet. It needs to be thought out a bit more. it has that I have seen this many times from the early 50's.
I respect the attempt and work put in by the writer at the last minute. I will remember him and will read what he writes in the near future. I believe that his talent is developing strongly. bUt compared to the scripts I received so far - they are fully developed and have been through many re-writes. I have sent it to my partner on this deal and will forward his comments and thoughts. i like your writer.


I didnt get a pass because my script was littered with errors. I got a pass because my motherfucking idea wasn't developed since I spent two weeks rushing to get it to them. Sometimes you get a genius script from that. Sometimes you get an incomplete draft. I will say this producer was far kinder than he needed to be. I appreciated it, he let me down easy. But he appreciated that I wrote a feature script in TWO FUCKING WEEKS.

But they'll read whatever I write. Because they liked the story. They didnt pass on me because my script had grammatical errors. This is important to remember when people bash you over things you do - If you're good, people will work with you. Kevin Smith's original scripts have the craziest formatting I've ever seen - yet Harvey Weinstein keeps going back to that well and making money. Harvey knows more than you and me.

That doesn't mean my editor SHOULDN'T keep pushing me to get better. It doesn't matter that my readers don't harp on me. Those are their jobs. But it's also the job to know when to drop it, and when to look at the big picture. In the end, all we got is the big picture right? And no one's telling JJ about how his secondary story in episode 103 on Fringe had the character speak an incomplete sentence. Or how his action sequence had EXPLOSIONS written when only one explosion happened.

They were admiring the beauty of Star Trek. And JJ knows his one flaw he needs to fix, so does Judd Apatow, and Paul Thomas Anderson, and the Coen Brothers. That's why they hire people to help them.

I make a lot of mistakes when I write. Some of my mistakes come from pushing force really advanced writing that most others can't reach. Some are so easy my niece tells me I need to spell better. Both eat at me equally. One I notice easily, the other I don't. If you constantly remind me of my weaknesses constantly, I will do neither. And you get this blog not getting updated for two months...

Because everyone has that one thing they hate to hear, but that doesn't mean you can't get the job done, right?






...Right?

Let the Right One In

Guess what's gonna happen in film?

Any guesses? Any?

You're gonna get fucked over. Most likely by people you consider friends. Brian Grazer once told a class full of people who asked him the most important lesson to learn in hollywood 'Every day I work with people who's fucked me out of millions of dollars and I do it while I have to grin through my teeth.'

Truer words have never been spoken. Three lessons I preached that I never followed. Never write something before you have a contract. Never work with a friend whom you know 'you'll figure it out later' and never trust someone - well most people, ever. EVER.

And it's a gift that keeps on giving. People will never STOP fucking you over. they won't learn their lesson. It won't be a magical two hour movie where you'll overcome adversity and become bigger people. bigger people become bigger because they got paid, and pal, if you got fucked over, you ain't gettin' paid.

That shouldn't mean that you don't trust people in the business. I trust my editor, more than almost anyone else. I trust my brit James Williamson out in England. I trust my contact out in NY Dana Abercrombie. I trust forcesofgeek managing editor Stefan blitz. I trust a couple other people out in HW. everyone else I don't even remotely trust. Not even the least. and If I do work without a contract, with unspoken understandings I'll just be fucked. bent over and taken sideways fucked. Its a part of life.

I realized tonight a person i thought was really close to me fucked me, and fucked me good. But i'm not mad at him, after all, he was simply playing by the rules of the game. I don't even have a reason to be upset. But I'm still fucked over. Where does that get me?

A lesson learned and some vasoline. Don't let the same thing happen to you.

EVER.

writing vs. a career

this is easy -

I write because I love it. it's what makes me a big part of who i am.

I work at banana republic because it pays the bills - in no way shape or form would I ever choose BR over film.

They can't co-exist. one is not bert, and the other ernie. This is not sesame street. We are not singing songs telling people how we got to this point. If we did - the song would go

Can you tell me how to get
how to get to a lackluster career!

Heya Dave!
Heya bird thats big.
You seem stressed?
I am big thats big! I'm stuck at a lackluster retail establishment that has customers treating me like a second class plaything.
That's too bad Dave.
I KNOW - bird that's big.


Children - did we learn anything? We learned that dreams in their whimsical fancy are often shattered by unrealistic expectations. Anything good that happens in film always comes with a that snapshot dream, of everything working out. But rarely does everything work out - in fact, I don't think it ever has. Tom B from LOTR never got his due time. Michael still has to work with Megan Fox on Transformers three despite his alleged crew not liking her, and Somehow Avenue Q is still not turned into a movie.

But you can have it all (you can?). Well, no, not really you can't. At least not long term. At some point and time your gonna reach that crossroads - are you gonna go to chinatown? Are you going to choose a family over a career? I've seen that happen many times in my family, and I don't think they regret that decision. I know right now though, that I would. I'm not an adult yet, at least not in the complete sense. I still make stupid decisions. Or a slew of stupid decisions.

The philosopher Fred Flinstone once said 'yabba dabba doo.' Did he say that because he was happy with his work situation? he couldn't of achieved much more than a construction job at bedrock time. Was he happy with his wife and child? Or was it that delicious fucking steak every night that drove him wild? Fred in a lot of way's is like us. He seems to have it all, but he has to make a choice. At the end of the day what did he choose? Was he really happy? Only you can figure that out when you ask yourself 'yabba dabba doooo.'

PS. Fucking Fred, learn some real english already. You're not a fucking caveman.

The Coming Tide

Well a year full of work - I'll know in two months if they're def going for it though, one way or another. Talk abbout finding a way to freak you the hell out -


I'm alternating between being extremely positive and crashing down so hard I wont get back up for a month.